How to save a relationship from collapse

Relationships are a very good natural occurrence as they happen to everyone.When you start dating someone you will be are crazy about them and all your world revolves around how they make you feel.Given the nature of any relationship it goes without mention that along with the bed of roses also comes raging storms that make it all a roller coaster ride.Sometimes the spark in a relationship fizzles out and many people may look in awe as a once thriving relationship turns so sour overnight without warning.Well this is very normal as love is like a fire and it requires constant refueling,rekindling and patience in pouring in as much effort as possible.All hope is not lost however as it is very possible to save a relationship from the brink of collapse.Many at times as humans we focus a lot on someone else’s mistakes,faults and flaws forgetting that no one is perfect and we all have weaknesses.

Discovering the worst in your partner may be a hard thing and a bitter pill to swallow because when you are dating your world revolves around that person and you never think of the worst.You have an idealized version of this person and that idea is defined by everything perfect and nothing realistic.True to the common statement that love makes you blind,a lot of things that happen in relationships are swept under the rug as you tell yourself that your partner will improve with time since no one is perfect.Things change however when issues spiral out of control and you do everything in your power to try and save your relationship.Something cannot be in need of saving unless it is badly damaged.Depending on the type of strain the relationship has taken different measures of saving the relationship can be taken as far as reaching for possible measures.

The way people in a relationship are when their love story starts might not always be the way they will stay a few months into their relationship.Starting a relationship and staying in one are two different things.Staying requires two people to be truly committed to each other and to know exactly what they want.The sacrifice that two people would make for each other should be worth every fight in them given something goes wrong.Sometimes,not just in relationships but also in life itself-you have to remind yourself why you love something and be prepared to fight for that thing no matter what. This realisation will make you see the importance of saving your relationship if things go sour.

Many aspects of romance might influence why a particular relationship might need saving.Some people change drastically in the course of the relationship.Whether a person has developed a habit of lying habitually, has started cheating or has stopped being the honest, caring and loving person that they were when the relationship started. It is not always advisable and wise to be a short-fused person who makes rushed decisions out of emotion and pain.Humans naturally have an instinct that thrives with being given chances once they make mistakes.Everyone deserves a chance of sitting on the mirror, revaluating themselves and doing a self introspection about what they really want.Every relationship goes through this phase, one way or the other, where it needs saving because after all, love is too much of a beautiful thing to give up on and let go because of a few mistakes that someone would have made.

Nothing in this world is irrepairable even if it is damaged beyond measure.In the same capacity that GOD designed the human body to have tissues that repair themselves when they are damaged, the same can also be applied to relationships. No-matter how bad, everyone has the ability, capacity, strength and willpower to bring out the best out of their relationship and save them to be the beautiful objects that make all of their dreams come true.Therefore it is not all doom and gloom when a relationship is going through a tough phase and in dire need of saving.Despite all this there are some ways that can help in rescuing a relationship from a pit of unending sorrow and heartbreak.Here are some nuggets that can help save a sinking relationship.

1.Communicate

The whole point of being together in a relationship is for people to be excellent communicators.Humans beings in general thrive on communication and relationships are no different.Communication forms the basic fundamentals of a relationship and failure to communicate properly will lead you into hurting the other person’s feelings.Communication is good in that it addresses both of your concerns, fears and feelings.A situation whereby both of you assume things just because you are not being able to be open enough to each other is greatly unwanted and undesirable.Talking about issues that build, nature and promote the growth of you as a couple is not only beneficial to you only but it also builds trust amongst the two of you.Trust is very important as it also forms the foundations of loyalty.

2.Evaluate why you are together in the first place

With the drama, emotion and uncertainty of a relationship may also come a dilution of the abundance of the romance that you felt at first.You may have started with so much fire but with time the fire within your hearts might just be extinguished by an array of negative things that may flock your mind.During times like these that’s when it is very necessary to go back to the drawing board and figure out exactly what made you to be together in the first place.How you started and stayed for that long still as lovers can help you resolve conflicts in a relationship.Remind yourself why you liked your partner, approached him/her, liked you back and why you started a relationship.

3.Do something special together.


People are loaded with passions, interests, ideas and goals and we are all privileged because we all have access to these desires of ours.There is even a great advantage if you meet and date someone who shares at least half of your goals and dreams.This way the joy in which you venture into these interest is multiplied because you are doing it with someone that you love and care about.Your partner might like a restaurant that is romantic or even a cuisine that is easy to cook or go and watch a movie together.Then why not invite them over for a special dinner or better yet meet at a neutral place for a picnic.Maybe they are not exactly into food there is always a very large pool of interests to explore that usually your boyfriend or girlfriend is very much interested in.

4.Cut out all external voices


With some people they are very fragile and emotional in a relationship that they are very sensitive to advice and voices.Just a wrong advice can lead a once thriving relationship into the woods.Words are very important and powerful as they either build or destroy and moreso in a relationship.People in relationships should only take advice that builds, nurtures and makes the relationship to grow and thrive.If not cautious a once thriving, beautiful house might all crumble like a deck of cards in an instant.Therefore extreme care and caution has to be taken especially on advices from people.On the flip side of the coin though,there is an explicit difference between advice that destroys and positive critism.Being criticised positively is only meant for you to grow and learn from your weaknesses.Love is blind and sometimes the reason why we cannot see through the eyes of our partners is because we will be so much engrossed in love and perceive them as perfect.However people outside the relationship can see what we cannot see and this may help us in determining the good and the bad of our relationship hence making it grow and last long.There is a need to have an ability to discern though whether the advice builds or destroys us.

5.Take a break from your Relationship

In a relationship they comes a time when you feel you have exhausted all the ideas in the book to save your relationship, the last option left is take a break from each other. The idea of taking a break in a relationship can be the most awful thing & it might break your hearts, nontheless this painful decision is necessary to be taken seriously. Ideally as difficult as it is, this tough decision will give you both enough rooms to breath out and figure out if you really want to be together. That break up period is a moment for each one of you to think clearly without the other person being around.You get to see where both of you are doing it wrong in that relationship and try to resolve it.

6.Follow the rules and boundaries you have set together

You should set boundaries and draw lines than no one is ever supposed to cross.This way your relationship will have rules and it will be governed by those rules.There is a point in a relationship where you have to be strict to each other inorder to save your relationship.You may have to agree on certain things that are difficult to accept but because you love each other you will ultimately be left with no choice but to compromise for each other.There are other rules you might always set for each other that may be boundaries as well.You might agree that neither of you should go out for clubbing or dinner without the other or without the knowledge of the other. To add on friends of the opposite sex may be a huge problem in a relationship if not handled properly.Everyone has friends of the opposite sex especially in relationships but partners should respect their partners enough to introduce these people to them.The girl’s friend becomes the guy’s friend and that way you can hang out together.Problems arise when one has some kind of secret friend of the opposite sex that one does not want to reveal to their partner.

The afore mentioned points are only a fraction of factors that are required for one to consider saving their relationship instead of giving up on it because of certain mistakes.Love is a huge roller coaster laden with ups and downs and leaving someone who has a potential to be a good partner or even to be a future wife or husband is not wise.

Does long distance relationship work or last long?

Dating being a global occurrence when two people officialise their romantic attachment.Romance and love brews everywhere and dating has become part of everyone’s livelihoods.They say true love is hard to find-and sure it is as people are now focusing on the superficial side of love instead of the fundamentals that make true love such a beautiful thing.Mostly people prefer relationships whereby their partner is close and they can see them at least frequently-but the evolving cyber and digital world has also come with its changes.With the advent of cyber dating also came the possibilities of long distance relationships.
They used to be taboo considering the possibilities of communication barriers that existed between two people.However technology has evolved over the years and has made long distance relationships such an exciting experience to look forward to and celebrate.The same question lingers on everybody’s mind now and again?Do long distance relationships work and if they do for how long are they sustainable? There are many factors that lead to long distance relationships happening.Some people start dating within each other’s close proximity having the privilege to meet regularly with their other half. Circumstances can or may lead to their separation inevitably as education,career or even politics can give rise to the separation of two people who are dating and in love.When this happens it is not all doom and gloom as there are several ways to get in touch with your other half who is living in a different world. Social media platforms like Whatsapp,Facebook,Twitter,Instagram and Skype have become the modern ways two people living thousands of kilometers apart can communicate and be in touch.
The internet is now littered with an abundance of websites that link and hook up people who find the thrill of dating someone they do not know a very exciting prospect.Connecting with people who are overseas has become easy all the more as the advent of social media has made the dating world accessible at the tip of a thumb. With many dating websites were a  lot of single people who are seeking a lucky shot at love have come in different forms.Instant hookups online have defined relationships that are cyber oriented.This has all gone a long way in making it easy for the start of a long distance relationship but do they work? Whether planned or not dating someone over a long distance has become the norm these days as an everchanging global economy,the prospects of new careers and also the search of greener pasteurs of education and career have all led to the rise of long distance relationships.
Here are some of the pros and cons you need to look at for a  long distance relationship: Pros

1.Independence

Being apart from each other when dating can be a direct result of many factors.Among young people these days it is mainly because of education and career.When you are away from your signifant other,it gives you the privilege to utilise the time you would usually spend together doing your own thing and bettering your life.Many relationships have fizzled out and lost their spark in their early stages of dating because they would have spent too much time together,breathing down each other’s throats all the time which leads to a decrease and a loss in chemistry in a relationship.Time is a very important resource in a relationship and needs to be managed well.After all having a long distance can bring back the spark in a relationship if managed well.Which brings me to my next point.
2.Distance makes the heart grow fonder

Proximity makes two people develop a kind of complacency towards each other and distance is sometimes all that it takes to bring back the spark ,woo your other significant half and sweep them off their feet when the chemistry has faded.Thats when this old adage of long distance in romance becomes true and real.When you are apart you miss each other more than usual, think about each other more and you become great communicators because talking and getting in touch is the only source of connecting to your love.
3.Makes you excellent communicators

Communication is key in a relationship and from it the foundation and roots of a relationship are built.Moreso it increases closeness,intimacy and a connection between two people if done well with commitment.However,if one of two people in a relationship move away from the other the need to communicate more increases as you will constantly need to check up on each other.Every source of social network in the social media is used as communication becomes of paramount importance.What you would have considered as unnecessary because you are in constant contact becomes all the more essential because you are apart and need to be connected romantically and emotionally in a relationship.

4.Intimacy

One way or the other you are likely to be connected more as a result of separation.When you think about each other and miss each other you become more intimate and this increases the emotional bond between two people.Individuals in a relationship feed from intimacy and rely on it for the growth of their relationship.When it happens that they get together again they are driven by this intimacy and time apart to share steamy moments of hot passion as they make up for the time they were apart from each other.Besides the physical part intimacy gives rise to emotional connection and bond because of distance.When you meet again the conversation is real,the understanding is palpable and the way you get each other is so true.
5.Dedication

There is no better way of knowing that someone truly loves you than them staying committed in a long distance relationship.They could be with anyone else that they meet constantly at that moment but still they chose to be with you despite the distance.Given how draining,expensive and sacrificial long distance relationships are it will only imply true dedication,commitment and heart to the cause of the relationship.In a world where getting a girl has become so easy and simple,where people can just enter a bar and leave with a person they will engage in sex with as a one night stand and pick another person the next day,it really means a lot for a person to stay committed to someone whom they only hear a voice from and receive only text messages from.

Cons
1.Complications of the Internet
Sometimes you really miss your girlfriend or boyfriend and what matters is you are talking to them.However the Internet is down for some reason as a result of mantainance ,weather or you are behind on your monthly subscriptions.This is very demotivating and emotionally damaging as nothing can replace the urge to talk to your significant other.Internet service delivery differs a lot according to where you stay and live therefore this might affect the relationship.

2.Jealousy and fights

Ever wondered what your boyfriend or girlfriend might be doing at a particular time.Thoughts and ideas begin to flood your head and your mind begins to think what does not exist as you start to assume things.These assumptions usually come when you text or call them and they tell you that they are busy with something.You begin to be a vessel of negativity as you start to bury yourself in thoughts of what they might be doing without you.This leads to major strains and huge fights in the relationship as your resolve of trusting each other is tested to the core.

3.Internet services are expensive in some countries

Services differ according to where you stay and the Internet is no different.If you stay in different timezones obviously the service will be diverse according to cost therefore one of you might be behind on their monthly subscriptions and it becomes difficult for them to get data and be in touch.This requires the other partner to really have an understanding heart because it will be beyond the control of the other person.Internet is not a priority for some and they might choose to invest their time and effort in other facets of their lives as their priorities are tested.

4.Too much distance makes the heart distracted

A certain degree of distance makes the heart grow fonder but too much distance makes the heart to be distracted.There is a certain level of missing someone that is good for the relationship as it increases the desire and passion once you meet again. However if you spend too much time without seeing someone you will be tempted by new things and ideas of what you think a typical relationship is.Love is an emotion that requires a lot of attention as it feeds from it.Sometimes you do not need a text,call or video call from your other half but you just want them to be there physically.

Having looked at both sides of the story one might still wonder if the idea is sustainable or not.The success and the fruition of any relationship is entirely based on its foundation from the start.True love has no distance barrier and thrives exceptionally well with effort,time and commitment.The long distance that exists between two people will end up as a factor that will actually increase the bond between two people who are in love.Time spent apart will make the love grow stronger.On the flip side of the coin however there is still the issue of misunderstandings,fights and jealousy issues that are increased by the long distance.If not handled well they might destroy the relationship but with real love comes trust and commitment.Long distance relationships only works when effort,commitment and real hard work which both parties put to make it fruitful.